Williams-Webster urges parents and students to redefine school success beyond grades

GREAT BAY--Child and adolescent psychologist Sjemila Williams-Webster has urged parents and students to approach the new school year with a broader understanding of success, emphasizing that academic achievement must be supported by structure at home, healthy routines, effective study habits, emotional awareness and the gradual development of independence.

Williams-Webster delivered the message during the Back to School Expo held at Aleeze on August 9, where she addressed parents, students, educators and others involved in supporting young people. Her presentation, titled “Ready, Set, Succeed! Balancing Real-Life School Challenges,” focused on the everyday realities families face during the school year, including homework, deadlines, sleep, extracurricular activities, friendships, family responsibilities and screen time.

She said conversations about a successful school year often begin and end with grades, but parents and educators should be aiming for something broader.

Williams-Webster stressed that the goal is not only to raise children who can pass tests and complete assignments, but young people who can manage their time, solve problems, ask for help, cope when things do not go according to plan and gradually take responsibility for themselves.

Using the framework “Ready. Set. Succeed,” she described school success as a progression that begins with the environment adults create, develops through the habits students learn and ultimately leads to greater ownership and independence.

Parents must create structure, but avoid constant micromanagement

Under the “Ready” stage, Williams-Webster told parents that children generally perform better when home life provides structure and predictability. She stressed, however, that structure does not mean planning every minute of a child's day.

Instead, children should have a reasonable understanding of what happens after school, when homework is expected, when they can play or use devices, when they should prepare for bed and what responsibilities are expected of them. Those routines must also reflect the actual schedules of individual families rather than unrealistic standards borrowed from elsewhere.

Williams-Webster also encouraged parents to monitor more than report cards.

“Monitor the child behind the grades,” she said.

Parents should pay attention to changes such as persistent exhaustion, increased moodiness, sudden school avoidance, a child continuing to struggle despite making an effort or losing interest in things that previously mattered to them. A decline in academic performance, she explained, can sometimes be a sign that something else is happening in a child's life.

At the same time, she cautioned parents against remaining responsible for every reminder and task as their children get older. She described the changing parental role as moving from “Manager” to “Coach” and eventually to “Consultant.”

For younger children, a parent may need to check the school agenda, make sure homework is packed and help prepare for the next day. As children mature, however, she encouraged parents to replace instructions with questions that require the child to think and plan.

Instead of telling a student to do homework, a parent might ask what needs to be completed that evening. Rather than repeatedly reminding a child about an upcoming project, parents can ask what plan the child has developed to complete it on time. The goal, she explained, is to gradually transfer the responsibility for thinking, remembering and planning from the parent to the student.

Students encouraged to build systems and plan ahead

Williams-Webster focused on procrastination, planning and time management.

She told students that time management is not simply about managing hours in the day, but about learning to manage themselves. That includes planning, prioritizing, beginning tasks even when motivation is low and controlling distractions. These are skills that can be practiced and improved over time.

She encouraged students to review their upcoming responsibilities at least once a week, separating what they have to do from what they want to do, and then deciding when each activity will realistically take place.

A deadline alone, she said, is not a plan. A major assignment due on Friday can instead be divided across several days, with research, drafting, completion and review each assigned their own time. Breaking larger tasks into smaller steps can make them less difficult to begin and reduce last-minute stress.

Williams-Webster also encouraged students to stop relying exclusively on memory and develop a system for keeping track of responsibilities, whether through a school agenda, phone calendar, reminders or a whiteboard.

“Your brain is wonderful. However, it is not a calendar,” she told students.

Studying longer does not always mean studying better

Williams-Webster also addressed how students study, explaining that repeatedly reading the same information does not necessarily mean that learning has taken place.

She encouraged students to make studying more active by closing their books and testing what they can remember, using practice questions and flashcards, or explaining a subject to another person. Parents can also allow children to teach the material to them, even if the parent is unfamiliar with the subject.

She further advised students to spread studying across several days rather than attempting to learn everything the night before a test, noting that shorter periods of focused study over time can often be more useful than hours of exhausted last-minute cramming.

Sleep, nutrition, downtime and relationships matter

Academic performance, Williams-Webster stressed, cannot be separated from the physical and emotional conditions under which children are expected to learn.

Students need adequate sleep, nutrition, hydration, movement, downtime and healthy relationships. They also need time to simply be children and teenagers.

“A successful student is not a child who is productive every waking minute. Balance matters,” she said.

Screen use was another area of focus. Williams-Webster said technology is part of children's lives and the goal should not be to pretend students will not use phones and other devices, but to teach them to use technology intentionally.

Students who know their phones are distracting them while studying can place them elsewhere for a set period, turn off notifications, complete a task and then take a break.

Parents, she added, must also model the behaviour they expect from their children, pointing out the contradiction of asking a child to put down a phone and engage with the family while the parent remains occupied with messages on their own device.

Success requires ownership, including ownership of mistakes

Under the final stage, “Succeed,” Williams-Webster called on students to increasingly take responsibility for their assignments, deadlines, effort and mistakes.

Parents, she said, should support that process without taking over everything for their children. Sometimes support means providing help, sometimes asking questions rather than supplying answers and, in appropriate situations, allowing a child to experience reasonable consequences.

She warned that rescuing children from every forgotten assignment or missed deadline may help them get through school, but may not prepare them for the responsibilities that follow.

Williams-Webster was equally clear that accountability should not mean automatically assuming a struggling child is lazy or does not care.

Parents should pay attention when a child is consistently struggling despite trying, when grades suddenly change, when the child becomes withdrawn, overwhelmed or unusually moody, or when homework becomes a constant source of distress.

In those situations, she encouraged families to talk with the child, communicate with teachers and the school and, when necessary, seek professional support.

“One of the most important skills we can teach young people is that asking for help is also part of taking responsibility,” she said.

Success is not a perfect report card

Williams-Webster concluded by challenging families to rethink how they measure success.

Success, she said, is not a perfect report card, never forgetting an assignment or experiencing a school year in which nothing goes wrong. It includes being able to recover from mistakes, recognize when an approach is not working, make adjustments, ask for help, manage responsibilities and become increasingly independent.

She encouraged parents attending the expo to make use of available academic support, after-school programs, extracurricular activities, sports and professional resources, and to actively build support systems around their children.

Williams-Webster said a productive school year does not require a perfect parent or a perfect student. Instead, it requires structure, support, healthy habits, communication, accountability and a willingness to make changes when something is not working.

Her final message to students was to take ownership of what they can, while parents were encouraged to provide support while giving their children room to grow.

“And to all of us: let’s continue creating the kind of environment where our young people have what they need to thrive,” Williams-Webster said.

‍